Sometimes it just feels good to say FUCK!

Fuck you JR.

Tonight you got mad when I said “fuck you”…Don’t talk to me like that, you said…

Fuck you for making my teenage heart fall in love with you.

Fuck you for letting me lay my head in your lap while you talked about “our moon”.

Fuck you for saying, “let’s get married”, and running away with me.

Fuck you for making me believe that true love exists.

Fuck you for every time you told me you loved me.

Fuck you for telling me that I am your world.

Fuck you for saying, “You are the air I breathe.”

Fuck you for always knowing what I was thinking just by locking eyes with me.

Fuck you for ever making me feel like the only woman in the world.

Fuck you for every promise you ever made to me and didn’t keep.

Fuck you for fucking someone else without my permission.

Fuck you for making me want you.

Fuck you for telling me that love conquers all.

Fuck you for breaking my heart.

Fuck you for telling me everything would be ok.

Fuck you for being so fucked up.

Fuck you for letting me love you more than you have loved me.

Fuck you for fucking with my head for the past 24 years.

Fuck you for taking so much and giving so little.

Fuck you for telling me what you need and ignoring my needs.

Fuck you for going to bed when I needed you to stay up and talk to me.

Fuck you for going off to fuck her when I told you I just wanted you to be there with me.

Fuck you for making me cry buckets and buckets of tears.

Fuck you for turning me into a cold, uncaring bitch.

Fuck you for making me feel old, fat, and ugly.

Fuck you for having unprotected sex with a fucking whore for 6 months.

Fuck you for giving me shit because I like weed on a rare occasion.

Fuck you for giving me shit when I drink wine to deal with the turmoil you created.

Fuck you for making me feel bad because I would like to travel with our grown daughter some.

Fuck you for making me feel bad for wanting to do anything without you.

Fuck you for letting me “throw myself” at you after your affair disclosure. Bastard.

Fuck you for turning me into the pathetic person that I now am.

Fuck you for making me question if I even deserve happiness.

Fuck you for destroying all of my hopes and dreams for a whore.

Fuck you for telling a whore that you loved her.

Fuck you for making me feel bad when I didn’t want to wear my wedding rings anymore.

Fuck you for every tear that was shed by our children because of your betrayals.

Fuck you for making our daughters doubt true love.

Fuck you for making me hurt to the point of swallowing 26 sleeping pills with large amounts of alcohol.

Fuck you for calling your whore that Feb. and letting her use it to hurt me again.

Fuck you for everything you told me about your affair and the things that you didn’t.

Fuck you for having an affair, I should have been enough.

Fuck you for not leaving me if you wanted to have an affair.

Fuck you for letting me help you with  your sexual fantasies, while never doing any of mine.

Fuck you for making me believe you were more important in this marriage than I was.

Fuck you for making me feel “crazy” when I suspected you were having an affair.

Fuck you for telling me that blogging might not be a “good idea”.

Fuck you for stealing my youth.

Fuck you for making me feel alone in this world.

Fuck you for not letting me go, when you know it would be best for me.

Fuck you for letting me hear from her own mouth that she was in love with you.

Fuck you for ruining my life.

Fuck you for not valuing me.

Fuck you for allowing her to tell me I don’t know my own self worth.

Fuck you for taking her on trips out of town.

Fuck you for taking her to our favorite restaurant.

Fuck you for taking her to “our” beach.

Fuck you for buying her gifts.

Fuck you for every sleepless night I have had because of the pain I am in.

Fuck you for the year post affair that I ignored our children because I was working on my marriage.

Fuck you for all of the many things that my wine soaked mind can’t think to say FUCK YOU for.

Just FUCK YOU JR…FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU….F~U~C~K   Y~O~U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all. Sorry for all of the profanity, sometimes it just feels good to say FUCK!

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13 Responses to Sometimes it just feels good to say FUCK!

  1. That sounds like some of my early rants. I agree – sometimes it’s the only word that works. In fact, I introduced it into my mother’s vocabulary that summer:)

    • kayboo24 says:

      I wish this was an early rant, but it has in fact been 2 years since DDay…2 very long painful years.

      • I was lucky in way. Mine left me unexpectedly with a text message and I never heard from him again. Although it was amazingly painful, it was a sudden amputation, leaving me able to try to rebuild. I wish you the best and hope that the word isn’t as needed for you soon.

  2. This looks like my resentments list!!! I have 72 items on it. I might do a fuck you blog post too. I like it!

  3. Sometimes no other word will do. But you are not (the) ‘pathetic person I now am’. Hurt, angry, betrayed yes – but pathetic no. I am also two years on from my first D Day. I still feel like ranting regularly.

  4. tentativelyhopeful says:

    I sling the word fuck around more often now than ever before – it’s a great word when we’re angry and feels empowering. I’m very sorry that you are feeling so frustrated and angry right now…infidelity is horrible. I wish our spouses understood how destructive it is for us.

  5. Pingback: Fuck my washing machine… | Healing my broken heart, I hope…

  6. Not Over It says:

    Hey Kayboo – I never used that word in my whole life until two years ago. I then used it quite often, mostly in talking about my husband and his slut. I’m glad you let it out here. I hurt for you, knowing all too well how you feel.

    I understood your post the other day when you said that he still does it for you, and that you still love him. I am the same. And yet we can have all these resentments… it’s complicated. –DJ

  7. I used that work about 10 years ago when I got in a fight with our slum lord at the time. My husband had to listen to me rant on the phone for 15 minutes. He called me his woman with the sailors mouth for weeks. He was pretty shocked but it was funny. I didn’t use it again til I found the emails and pictures and holy cow you would have thought it was the only word I knew for for days straight. Yikes! My husband was shocked, my daughters were speechless. We all laugh about it now but my husband truly thought he was going to breath his last breath that day and I am so thankful I didn’t have anything in my hands cause I truly had temporary insanity.Anyway so sorry for you pain ——sending you a virtual hug. I wish things were better for you and for your hubby. it’s weird but when my husband claimed ED with me I almost wanted him to look at the porn again so I could see if it was true or it was just me. I even accused him that if he looked at it I bet he wouldn’t have had any problem with his porno girls. I never followed through with that request tho. Somehow I lost your last comment on my site. I was reading on my app on phone and I guess I clicked the wrong button.

  8. GoddessWife says:

    Wow. I may have to write a Fuck you list. l could feel your pain. This is the only post of yours I’ve read so I have some catching up to do.

    • kayboo24 says:

      Haha…I have often wondered if you had read my fuck you list. I was a little tipsy and upset when I wrote that but have gone back and reread it since then. Every word is true, but I could also write as long a list with reasons why I love, and love being married to my husband.

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